EXT. LONDON GEORGIAN MAISONETTE AND GARDEN – NIGHT
A ginger cat goes out of an upstairs window and out of a huge overgrown garden which looks like a jungle.
Copper eyes reveal the face of Bombay Black pirate cat Gatto camouflaged near a wall in the garden.
Gatto holds down the tail of squirrel Tiny with his paw. Tiny has a watch and scratches notes on to a nut.
Gatto: Draw it up. If you tell anyone about this, squirrel death will descend upon your hole.
Tiny skips away trembling with nut in hand.
EXT. HOUSE GARDEN – NIGHT
Exact same scene, fat ginger cat leaves upstairs.
Great escape theme music starts to play quietly.
Gatto looks behind and slowly climbs up through a window. Squirrel Tiny trembles below.
Gatto: Are you a squirrel or a mouse?
Tiny: Someone said we’re related.
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
Gatto climbs on to a cooker door handle, jumps onto cooker and then hops into a larder cupboard. Gatto’s eyes feast upon the bounty.
Gatto drop tins of top cat food out through the window.
EXT. WINDOW DOOR – NIGHT
Tiny ducks food tins which tumble onto the patio.
INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Gatto keeps sniffing as he climbs bedposts, jumps onto a mantlepiece. The clock swivels to open a trapdoor. Inside is a jewellery case holding a cat collar with sapphires and diamonds.
Gatto: Ging, you fat cat, you.
A croaky groan. Gatto sees old lady in bed.
Gatto is relieved when lady falls back asleep but he now hears the sound of a cat knocking into something.
Ging appears and looks directly at Gatto who starts to creep away but Ging just looks out to space.
Gatto turns to go but cranky sleepy old lady wakes up.
Old lady: Come here you disgusting cat.
Gatto looks at himself and then the old woman. Gatto is about to remonstrate when sleepy lady grabs Ging and slaps him. The old lady now awake sees Gatto.
Momentarily lost, Gatto pulls the cat collar and waves it as a pendulum at both the old lady and Ging.
Gatto: Ging you will leave this place, lose weight and regain your self esteem. You, old lady, will stop abusing cats or anyone. Remember nothing when you wake.
Both Ging and the cranky old lady fall into a deep sleep.
Gatto scratches the bedpost and the bed sheet with a pirate cat skull.
Gatto sniffs both Ging and the lady. Gatto finds a bottle of RUM under the bed. Gatto swigs the rum and puts on the cat collar before disappearing into the night.